I don't like being called a writer. I shy away from the title as much as possible. It makes my skin crawl and my stomach churn in protest. "Don't call me that!" I feel like screaming whenever I'm introduced as one. There's just something about the title that irks me.
Him: This is L.A. Lutara, and he's a writer.
Her: Oh, really? That's lovely. Does that mean that he likes using big words and getting drunk with other quote-unquote writers and having important conversations about things that people don't really care about?
Granted, that's a very narrow view of what a writer is/ does/ enjoys doing but it has been my experience that a lot people actually think of writers in that way.
If I'm to take it even a step further though, I'm really not all that fond of words either. I use them because I must. To me they are little more than the little builder ants that I contract out of necessity to help me make some sort of sense out of this chaotic existence that we call life. Other times to help me escape it.
I was probably eight years old when I wrote my first story. I can't remember what it was about exactly but I do vaguely remember that it was a ridiculous mash-up of the Power Rangers, Captain Planet & Ninja Turtles. That I was Jason, I was Kwame, I was Leonardo. I was the leader. I was special. And I think that was what it was part of what it was all about- wanting to feel special. Something, that for many people, is something they carry into adulthood and all the way to death.
It wasn't only about wanting to feel special though. It was about getting this thing that did somersaults around my stomach, that rumbled inside of my chest, that thumped against my rib cage out of me and out into the world. Words were the easiest way for me to do this. I couldn't draw or paint or sculpt or build anything, I loved music but couldn't sing or play an instrument or dance all that well, I wasn't all that much of a talker and so writing was really the only thing that I was left with. It was the only way I knew how to express myself.
And so in that way writing has never been some sort of higher calling for me (as I've heard some people say they feel it is for them), it has been a necessity, at times even an annoyance, albeit one that I've learned to glean some level of enjoyment from. I write because I must. My sanity depends on it. It has always been this way.
I don't like being called a writer. I shy away from the title as much as possible. It makes my skin crawl and my stomach churn in protest. "Please don't call me that!" I feel like screaming whenever I'm introduced as one because the truth is, I don't feel like I am one. To me, all I really am is guy who has to pop and puke out words to keep himself from spontaneously combusting.
Do you think we could stick with that?
Him: This is L.A. Lutara, and he's a writer.
Her: Oh, really? That's lovely. Does that mean that he likes using big words and getting drunk with other quote-unquote writers and having important conversations about things that people don't really care about?
Granted, that's a very narrow view of what a writer is/ does/ enjoys doing but it has been my experience that a lot people actually think of writers in that way.
If I'm to take it even a step further though, I'm really not all that fond of words either. I use them because I must. To me they are little more than the little builder ants that I contract out of necessity to help me make some sort of sense out of this chaotic existence that we call life. Other times to help me escape it.
I was probably eight years old when I wrote my first story. I can't remember what it was about exactly but I do vaguely remember that it was a ridiculous mash-up of the Power Rangers, Captain Planet & Ninja Turtles. That I was Jason, I was Kwame, I was Leonardo. I was the leader. I was special. And I think that was what it was part of what it was all about- wanting to feel special. Something, that for many people, is something they carry into adulthood and all the way to death.
It wasn't only about wanting to feel special though. It was about getting this thing that did somersaults around my stomach, that rumbled inside of my chest, that thumped against my rib cage out of me and out into the world. Words were the easiest way for me to do this. I couldn't draw or paint or sculpt or build anything, I loved music but couldn't sing or play an instrument or dance all that well, I wasn't all that much of a talker and so writing was really the only thing that I was left with. It was the only way I knew how to express myself.
And so in that way writing has never been some sort of higher calling for me (as I've heard some people say they feel it is for them), it has been a necessity, at times even an annoyance, albeit one that I've learned to glean some level of enjoyment from. I write because I must. My sanity depends on it. It has always been this way.
I don't like being called a writer. I shy away from the title as much as possible. It makes my skin crawl and my stomach churn in protest. "Please don't call me that!" I feel like screaming whenever I'm introduced as one because the truth is, I don't feel like I am one. To me, all I really am is guy who has to pop and puke out words to keep himself from spontaneously combusting.
Do you think we could stick with that?
haha...okay then, I will rephrase, you are not just one of my favourite writers, you are one of my favourite word poper and puker...but I really like the way you do it. I guess I am just a big fan of Lloyd Lutara the person :)
ReplyDeleteAnd I will most definitely take that as a compliment!
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