It's rather disheartening when after taking a rather large step towards banging your life long dream into reality that the people who you always thought are supposed to be the happiest for you aren't because being happy for you would mean that they would have to admit to you and more importantly to themselves that they were wrong about you. It would mean that they would have to acknowledge that your dreams were valid after all. It would mean that your stubborn refusal to give up or to give in was indeed warranted. Worst of all, it would mean that you were more in tune with God's plan for your life than they were. For them that's a hard pill to swallow and so instead of swallowing it they spit it out while you aren't looking and simply pretend to.
It's when you get responses like, "Well, at least you're doing what you enjoy." with a condescending pat on your shoulder and a grimace disguised as a smile and, "Well, you've always wanted to write so I guess you have that going for you." that you start to wonder why these people are congratulating you so begrudgingly. You honestly thought that they would be over the moon that you finally managed to bag a job with an employer and a contract and a salary and an office. That's what they always wanted, wasn't it? For you to be gainfully employed? Well, not necessarily. A month into the new job and you're beginning to realize that what they really wanted was for you to give up on what they thought of as a childish and ignorant pipe dream and do what they wanted you to do- get the kind of job that required you to present your papers just to be offered a seat in the waiting area. The fact that you had gotten a job by using your talent, a thing that they thought was nice to have to be sure but certainly not something they ever thought would ever make you employable, angered them. But hold on a second, why on Earth would that anger them? It didn't make any sense, wasn't that a good thing? To be employable beyond just having a certain piece of paper? If you had to venture a guess however, it was probably because in their minds, any place that would dare to hire you solely based on your talent cant be that serious a place of employment, can it now?
A month surrounded by an entire team of gainfully employed outliers, wild thinkers and charismatic eccentrics and you've come to realize something else too; that it's not just you. A few of your fellow workmates have shared with you how their families don't really take their jobs seriously either and are more often than not expecting them to at some point grow up, get a real job and save being creative for their free time, as if that was even an option. Which begs the question, what is it about creating, and more specifically writing, that causes people not to take it seriously? Think about it. If you say that you write for the New Vision or for the Daily Monitor, people get that. They understand that. They even may respect that. But if you say you write for a TV show well then everyone's face scrunches up in confusion. You mean that's actually a real thing? Never mind that already your basic salary is twice possibly even three times as much as you would have been making at Vision or Monitor and that there's really only one place to go and that is up. Never mind that what you write will be watched by people all over the continent, not just read by people over the age of 35 who still read the newspapers instead of just scrolling through their Twitter timeline in a country with a literacy rate of 66.8%. Never mind that you are working in a field that you naturally excel in and that even though you have a gift for it have also worked very, very hard to hone into a very precise skill. Never mind that you have consulted the God that you strongly believe in and pass everything by and that he has made it abundantly clear time and time again that you're exactly where you need to be right now. The sad truth of the matter is, if it doesn't fit into their myopic view of what one's life is meant to look like then you're the one in the wrong, not them. Never them.
A part of you also sometimes thinks that another reason for the sour expressions may be because you dared and continue to dream at all. As far as they're concerned your gaze shouldn't be aimed so high, you should be setting your sights on being a work horse, to plowing the field, to harvesting the corn, so to speak. Writing is not working. What's so hard about sitting in front of a computer, tapping at a keyboard and making up stories? At least if you were reporting news, well now that's a real contribution; heck, advertising is even better. But writing a script for actors to read and act out? That's not a job, that's a hobby. It doesn't matter that you're getting paid for it, you cant build a life on a hobby. They'll even throw scripture at you;
"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me."
Yeah, Paul said that. According to them dreaming big was childish and it was way past time for you to put the ways of childhood behind you. But the way you look at it, just because they stopped dreaming doesn't mean you have to. Especially since it's God that planted the seeds of those dreams in the first place. And so at the end of the day those people can say what they want to say, they can pretend to smile and pretend to be happy for you while quietly gnashing their teeth when your back's turned but at this point at time you cant waste any more energy on trying to make them happy and doing things for them. You love them, yes, but you can no longer afford for them to be your barometer, there is no joy and no peace in that. God is joy and God is peace and so from here on out he will be your barometer. Now and always. And so if that means that they'll clap when you're gone then so be it. You've got your God on one side and your ride or die on your other and as far as you're concerned, that's all that matters.
It's when you get responses like, "Well, at least you're doing what you enjoy." with a condescending pat on your shoulder and a grimace disguised as a smile and, "Well, you've always wanted to write so I guess you have that going for you." that you start to wonder why these people are congratulating you so begrudgingly. You honestly thought that they would be over the moon that you finally managed to bag a job with an employer and a contract and a salary and an office. That's what they always wanted, wasn't it? For you to be gainfully employed? Well, not necessarily. A month into the new job and you're beginning to realize that what they really wanted was for you to give up on what they thought of as a childish and ignorant pipe dream and do what they wanted you to do- get the kind of job that required you to present your papers just to be offered a seat in the waiting area. The fact that you had gotten a job by using your talent, a thing that they thought was nice to have to be sure but certainly not something they ever thought would ever make you employable, angered them. But hold on a second, why on Earth would that anger them? It didn't make any sense, wasn't that a good thing? To be employable beyond just having a certain piece of paper? If you had to venture a guess however, it was probably because in their minds, any place that would dare to hire you solely based on your talent cant be that serious a place of employment, can it now?
A month surrounded by an entire team of gainfully employed outliers, wild thinkers and charismatic eccentrics and you've come to realize something else too; that it's not just you. A few of your fellow workmates have shared with you how their families don't really take their jobs seriously either and are more often than not expecting them to at some point grow up, get a real job and save being creative for their free time, as if that was even an option. Which begs the question, what is it about creating, and more specifically writing, that causes people not to take it seriously? Think about it. If you say that you write for the New Vision or for the Daily Monitor, people get that. They understand that. They even may respect that. But if you say you write for a TV show well then everyone's face scrunches up in confusion. You mean that's actually a real thing? Never mind that already your basic salary is twice possibly even three times as much as you would have been making at Vision or Monitor and that there's really only one place to go and that is up. Never mind that what you write will be watched by people all over the continent, not just read by people over the age of 35 who still read the newspapers instead of just scrolling through their Twitter timeline in a country with a literacy rate of 66.8%. Never mind that you are working in a field that you naturally excel in and that even though you have a gift for it have also worked very, very hard to hone into a very precise skill. Never mind that you have consulted the God that you strongly believe in and pass everything by and that he has made it abundantly clear time and time again that you're exactly where you need to be right now. The sad truth of the matter is, if it doesn't fit into their myopic view of what one's life is meant to look like then you're the one in the wrong, not them. Never them.
A part of you also sometimes thinks that another reason for the sour expressions may be because you dared and continue to dream at all. As far as they're concerned your gaze shouldn't be aimed so high, you should be setting your sights on being a work horse, to plowing the field, to harvesting the corn, so to speak. Writing is not working. What's so hard about sitting in front of a computer, tapping at a keyboard and making up stories? At least if you were reporting news, well now that's a real contribution; heck, advertising is even better. But writing a script for actors to read and act out? That's not a job, that's a hobby. It doesn't matter that you're getting paid for it, you cant build a life on a hobby. They'll even throw scripture at you;
"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me."
Yeah, Paul said that. According to them dreaming big was childish and it was way past time for you to put the ways of childhood behind you. But the way you look at it, just because they stopped dreaming doesn't mean you have to. Especially since it's God that planted the seeds of those dreams in the first place. And so at the end of the day those people can say what they want to say, they can pretend to smile and pretend to be happy for you while quietly gnashing their teeth when your back's turned but at this point at time you cant waste any more energy on trying to make them happy and doing things for them. You love them, yes, but you can no longer afford for them to be your barometer, there is no joy and no peace in that. God is joy and God is peace and so from here on out he will be your barometer. Now and always. And so if that means that they'll clap when you're gone then so be it. You've got your God on one side and your ride or die on your other and as far as you're concerned, that's all that matters.
