I hate it when some ignorant, dogmatic, irrational grunt of a Christian goes and makes some of us other...pragmatic, should I say, Christians look bad. Now, I've never been one to feel the need to explain or defend my faith to anyone but when one wants to put their best foot forward and go and talk to someone about their faith and a fellow "brother/ sister in Christ" decides to go and take a hot stinky dump on it, it can be a little aggravating.
I read an article in yesterday's Daily Monitor where an Atheist (a friend of mine actually) and a Christian were both asked questions on the topic of cohabitation and whether it deprives a person of marital blessings. The difference in their answers, although expected, was quite telling.
Now, I'm not about to start quoting the article (if you want to I'll let you read it yourself HERE) but the gist of it was that the Atheist was pro-people doing whatever they want and believes that as a society we have been hoodwinked into believing a multitude of myths surrounding the whole notion of marriage and tradition while and the Christian immediately came off as well, ignorant, dogmatic and rather irrational. He made a number of baseless assertions like how it is only in a marriage setting that a child is taught such values as saying 'thank you' or not talking back to elders that made me wonder to myself, "Is this guy even listening to himself?" He went on to embarrass himself by making several other blanket statements that sounded completely unthought through. "And this is the guy who is supposed to be speaking on my behalf?" I wondered to myself. Not a good look at all.
"And so what are your thoughts on all of this?" you might be wondering to yourself. Well, personally, I strongly advocate for marriage; traditionally, legally and religiously binding. There is a proviso to this though. I believe that both parties should be in agreement as to just what the marriage is, is going to be and is for. It's not uncommon to find discrepancies in the motivations as to why a man enters a marriage (or any committed relationship really) and why a woman enters one. I think it's important for both people involved to be on the same page. As a Christian I have my own beliefs, based on my handbook to life- the Bible, as to what a marriage is and meant to be and so if I don't find someone who shares those beliefs, believe you me, both of us are pretty much screwed.
"But then cant a couple have that type of agreement without all the hoopla of getting married and all that entails? I mean, especially with the circus that it has become?"
Sure they can. I've seen it. My reasons as to why I would still campaign for something more officially binding though is three fold.
One, to me a traditional marriage symbolizes not only the union of the two people involved but of their families as well. The man's family is saying, "We accept this woman to become one of us." and the woman's family is saying, "Yes, we also believe that this man will be able to take care of our daughter." And while not everyone may need or want that type of validation, having grown up in a big and loving family I find comfort in knowing that I have their support and acceptance and that my wife and children will be fully accepted into this.
Two, I think the advantages of a legally binding marriage are pretty straight forward. Financial security for the children and wife, in the eventuality of anything happening. It can provide a cushion. As for the trickiness of getting out of a legally binding marriage, I've seen marriages that have failed and I've seen marriages that have lasted for more than twenty, thirty, fifty years. I choose to model my own marriage after the ones that I have seen work. Call me an optimist.
Three, the church marriage. I'm a Christian and so I believe that a union that is not sanctified before God is one that may miss out on the blessings that God may have for the couple. That is not to say that there are no unions that work outside of such sanctification, there are plenty, but I think that then brings up the question of God's perfect will versus God's permissive will which is a discussion for another time.
As for the issue of cohabitation itself, I will leave you with just two bible verses that I myself try my best to live by. They are Hebrews 13:4 which says,
"Marriage must be honored among all and the marriage bed kept undefiled, for God will judge sexually immoral people and adulterers."
and 1 Corinthians 6: 9-20 which says,
"Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived! The sexually immoral, idolaters, adulterers, passive homosexual partners, practicing homosexuals, 10 thieves, the greedy, drunkards, the verbally abusive, and swindlers will not inherit the kingdom of God. 11 Some of you once lived this way. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. 12 “All things are lawful for me” – but not everything is beneficial. “All things are lawful for me” – but I will not be controlled by anything. 13 “Food is for the stomach and the stomach is for food, but God will do away with both.” The body is not for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14 Now God indeed raised the Lord and he will raise us by his power. 15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Should I take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! 16 Or do you not know that anyone who is united with a prostitute is one body with her? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” 17 But the one united with the Lord is one spirit with him. 18 Flee sexual immorality! “Every sin a person commits is outside of the body” – but the immoral person sins against his own body. 19 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? 20 For you were bought at a price. Therefore glorify God with your body."
And so seeing as the Bible is my handbook to life, I think that I'm going to go with that.
I read an article in yesterday's Daily Monitor where an Atheist (a friend of mine actually) and a Christian were both asked questions on the topic of cohabitation and whether it deprives a person of marital blessings. The difference in their answers, although expected, was quite telling.
Now, I'm not about to start quoting the article (if you want to I'll let you read it yourself HERE) but the gist of it was that the Atheist was pro-people doing whatever they want and believes that as a society we have been hoodwinked into believing a multitude of myths surrounding the whole notion of marriage and tradition while and the Christian immediately came off as well, ignorant, dogmatic and rather irrational. He made a number of baseless assertions like how it is only in a marriage setting that a child is taught such values as saying 'thank you' or not talking back to elders that made me wonder to myself, "Is this guy even listening to himself?" He went on to embarrass himself by making several other blanket statements that sounded completely unthought through. "And this is the guy who is supposed to be speaking on my behalf?" I wondered to myself. Not a good look at all.
"And so what are your thoughts on all of this?" you might be wondering to yourself. Well, personally, I strongly advocate for marriage; traditionally, legally and religiously binding. There is a proviso to this though. I believe that both parties should be in agreement as to just what the marriage is, is going to be and is for. It's not uncommon to find discrepancies in the motivations as to why a man enters a marriage (or any committed relationship really) and why a woman enters one. I think it's important for both people involved to be on the same page. As a Christian I have my own beliefs, based on my handbook to life- the Bible, as to what a marriage is and meant to be and so if I don't find someone who shares those beliefs, believe you me, both of us are pretty much screwed.
"But then cant a couple have that type of agreement without all the hoopla of getting married and all that entails? I mean, especially with the circus that it has become?"
Sure they can. I've seen it. My reasons as to why I would still campaign for something more officially binding though is three fold.
One, to me a traditional marriage symbolizes not only the union of the two people involved but of their families as well. The man's family is saying, "We accept this woman to become one of us." and the woman's family is saying, "Yes, we also believe that this man will be able to take care of our daughter." And while not everyone may need or want that type of validation, having grown up in a big and loving family I find comfort in knowing that I have their support and acceptance and that my wife and children will be fully accepted into this.
Two, I think the advantages of a legally binding marriage are pretty straight forward. Financial security for the children and wife, in the eventuality of anything happening. It can provide a cushion. As for the trickiness of getting out of a legally binding marriage, I've seen marriages that have failed and I've seen marriages that have lasted for more than twenty, thirty, fifty years. I choose to model my own marriage after the ones that I have seen work. Call me an optimist.
Three, the church marriage. I'm a Christian and so I believe that a union that is not sanctified before God is one that may miss out on the blessings that God may have for the couple. That is not to say that there are no unions that work outside of such sanctification, there are plenty, but I think that then brings up the question of God's perfect will versus God's permissive will which is a discussion for another time.
As for the issue of cohabitation itself, I will leave you with just two bible verses that I myself try my best to live by. They are Hebrews 13:4 which says,
"Marriage must be honored among all and the marriage bed kept undefiled, for God will judge sexually immoral people and adulterers."
and 1 Corinthians 6: 9-20 which says,
"Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived! The sexually immoral, idolaters, adulterers, passive homosexual partners, practicing homosexuals, 10 thieves, the greedy, drunkards, the verbally abusive, and swindlers will not inherit the kingdom of God. 11 Some of you once lived this way. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. 12 “All things are lawful for me” – but not everything is beneficial. “All things are lawful for me” – but I will not be controlled by anything. 13 “Food is for the stomach and the stomach is for food, but God will do away with both.” The body is not for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14 Now God indeed raised the Lord and he will raise us by his power. 15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Should I take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! 16 Or do you not know that anyone who is united with a prostitute is one body with her? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” 17 But the one united with the Lord is one spirit with him. 18 Flee sexual immorality! “Every sin a person commits is outside of the body” – but the immoral person sins against his own body. 19 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? 20 For you were bought at a price. Therefore glorify God with your body."
And so seeing as the Bible is my handbook to life, I think that I'm going to go with that.
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